God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Civil War battle re-enacters marched in the streets of Virginia in Confederate uniforms Monday to mark Robert E. Lee’s birthday. War re-enactments are uniquely American. It’s hard to picture Frenchmen putting on old uniforms and spending all weekend surrendering.
The Postal Service announced a two-cent increase for the price of a postage stamp that will go into effect Sunday. They’ve certainly earned it. The Postal Service reported it lost $5 billion last year, making it by far the most profitable branch of the U.S. government.
Ken Burns will cover the life of Franklin Roosevelt in his next PBS documentary. FDR drank eight to 10 martinis a day, smoked, kept two mistresses, and he defeated Hitler from a wheelchair. Ken Burns specializes in documentaries about America’s greatest athletes.
Alex Rodriguez was photographed in Cancun wearing a sombrero and playing guitar with a Mariachi band. It just never ends. The owner of the local guitar store told MLB he bought a guitar bridge that allows him to cheat and play the higher chords with less effort.
President Obama told the New Yorker he thinks marijuana is not as dangerous a drug as alcohol. It’s an article of faith among Baby Boomers. If everyone smoked a joint at the same time, we’d have world peace for about five minutes, followed by a global food shortage.
Virginia GOP former Governor Robert McDonnell was indicted for taking cash, jewelry and private jet trips from a crony while in office. This is serious. If prosecutors can also find sexual misconduct, Bob McDonnell could get four-to-eight years as governor of Louisiana.
French president Francois Hollande is coming to the White House with a new girlfriend next month. He left his common-law wife for a journalist, now he’s leaving the journalist for an actress. At the White House official state dinner, he will receive the John F. Kennedy Award.
Sotheby’s of Hong Kong auction house sold a special decanter of Macallen Scotch to the highest bidder Tuesday for $628,000. It’s the most ever for a single malt Scotch whiskey. It’s normally in a larger container, the mayor of Toronto.    
The Denver Broncos are favored over the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl. We will see the NFL’s flashiest offense go up against the NFL’s most dangerous defense. Last year five NFL receivers refused to run a corner route against Seattle because it was a Crips corner.
Baghdad reports that al-Qaeda forces captured the city of Ramadi after taking Fallujah last week and kept advancing. For two years, the Obama administration has insisted that al-Qaeda’s on the run, and they are. Every 10 seconds they’re a 100 yards closer to Sochi.
Texas governor hopeful Wendy Davis lied about putting herself through Harvard Law when actually her husband paid for it. The day she graduated she divorced him, left him the kids, and now she expects Texans to elect her governor. In the latest poll she’s trailing Bob Stoops.
The University of Oklahoma locked down Wednesday after shots on a South Oval classroom were reported. They were shots of Crown Royal. The campus clock had just struck noon Wednesday, signaling students at the notorious party school they were over the hump, but Sooners being Sooners, some of the students jumped the gun and began partying at 11:55.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.