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They pounded their little donkey hooves
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BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
House Democrats erupted in anger at President Obama on Thursday over his tax cut extension and free trade deal and federal pay freeze. The liberals cursed his name in the Capitol. Ever since Obama joined the Ditto Heads he’s become a man without a country.
The U.S. Senate voted Thursday to keep the ban on gays in the U.S.
military. Gay people want to be in the Army and they want to be married.
It just shows you can live the world’s most libertine lifestyle but it’s not really living unless someone is right there to yell at you.
The Supreme Court heard arguments Thursday on Arizona’s new immigration law, which punishes employers who hire illegal aliens.
Nobody’s rioting. Polls show that most whites and Hispanics hate each other in Arizona, but because they’re in Arizona, it’s a dry hate.
The U.S. Senate tabled Harry Reid’s Dream Act which would have given children of illegal aliens in-state tuition. The title derives from a vote they took ten years ago. Congress was asked to consider Bill Clinton’s Dream Act, and they impeached him for it.   
U.S. Army Private Bradley Manning remained in jail Tuesday for providing WikiLeaks with a quarter million secret diplomatic cables.
There’s proof he committed treason against the United States of America.
The Berkeley City Council just voted him the Key to the City.
WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange remain jailed in London Thursday on Swedish charges that he had casual sex with multiple partners without using a condom. He had no idea that was a crime anywhere. Until now the only birth control he ever used was his personality.
The San Diego County Sheriffs blew up a home on national television Thursday that was being used by a renter as a home-made bomb factory.
The homeowner learned a lesson.
It’s a lot smarter to let your house go into foreclosure than to rent to a Californian.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at