In less than a year, I have attended four weddings.
With the exception of one being on a beach in Mexico and one being that of my daughter, they were all pretty much the same.
Vows, flowers, cake, cards, gifts, hugs, photos, receptions, punch, those little cream cheese mints and mixed nuts. And, there were the stressed-out brides and grooms with this pasted-on smiles masking extreme terror.
Some had dances. Some didn’t.
But, the end result was always the same. The loving newly weds embarked on their new lives together, armed with hope and promise, and equipped with multiple crock pots, sets of towels and cutlery, lots of cutlery.
In 2016, there were over 2 million marriages in the United States. There also over 800,000 divorces with a separation rate of 3.2 for every 1,000 Americans.
Researchers have found that the rate of divorce in the U.S. peaked at about 40 percent around 1980 and has been dropping ever since. And, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68 percent for women and 70 percent for men between 2006 and 2010.
Promising. But, there are still those who don’t want to take a chance.
Enter the latest movement on the relationship front – sologamy.
“WTF?” you ask. This is when people marry themselves.
Yes, that is exactly what I said.
I thought this was just choosing to remain single. But, like other things in this society (like getting plastic surgery to “correct” “selfie chin”) some are not content to leave well enough alone.
“I would describe it as women saying yes to themselves,” one sologomist is quoted as saying. “It means that we are enough, even if we are not partnered with someone else.”
According to an article about this 37-year-old bride, on her wedding day she wore a white dress and had a bouquet. She even walked down the aisle, but no one was waiting for her at the end. (How about vows? Until death do I part?)
She said she grew tired of people asking why she was still single. So, in front of family and friends she married herself.
Self-marriage – or sologamy – is growing. Partly because it’s popping up in pop culture, like when an episode of ‘Sex and the City’ floated the idea.
Now, the movement has gone viral and there are companies trying to cash in on the craze, from photographers to wedding planners.
I mean, it is important for the bride and groom (or whatever) to agree on the arrangements, right?
This whole concept brings up a lot of questions.
There are some aspects of this I won’t touch. Well, perhaps that’s a bad choice of words.
But, one has to ask what kind of a narcissist does one have to be to marry themselves? I’ve known a lot of people who could easily find someone better.
What about prenups?
Do you have to worry about entering the marriage hoping to change your partner?
What about picking up socks, washing dishes, putting gas in the car, mowing the yard, cooking supper? How do you divide the household duties?
What about cheating on yourself (“you two-timing so and so”)? Can you hang out with friends at a bar with out getting jealous with yourself?
Then, there is the obvious problem, divorce. How bad of a person does one have to be to see this as the only way out of the relationship. And, have they REALLY tried to work things out?
What about alimony?
I guess there would be upsides to this – no kids and no fights about how to raise them, no bickering over china patterns, no fighting over leaving the toilet seat up or what side the toilet paper should hang on (over the front or around the back), no quarrels over what drapes to buy, and no tense moments in the car on long road trips. If there are, there are some serious psychological issues here.
I don’t know, but this sounds like the latest nonsense to permeate our overly politically correct world. Here’s a reality check – they are still single, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Dale Hogg is the managing editor of the Great Bend Tribune. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.