HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave a thunderous speech to a joint session of the House and Senate Tuesday.
It had political consequences.
Republicans immediately claimed that Bibi was born in Hawaii and anyone who doesn’t believe it is a conspiracy theorist.
IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s DNA was found on the shirt of the maid who accused him of sexually assaulting her in his New York hotel suite last week. People have begun taking every precaution in New York.
Women are carrying pepper spray and men are carrying Scotch-Guard.
Maria Shriver discussed her TV career plans last week. She began in NBC News and could end up there.
NBC Dateline just offered her the moon to host a new investigative show called “To Catch a Predator with the Housekeeper.”
President Obama enjoyed himself in Dublin Monday and he talked about one of his great-great-great grandfathers coming to America from Ireland. That makes him part-Irish and part Kenyan. The day he enters a drinking marathon he’ll win it in two hours and three minutes.
Obama left Ireland for Britain a day early Tuesday due to volcanic ash in the air arriving from Iceland. However the president did get to meet some distant relatives on the Emerald Isle.
Conservatives are convinced he had a secret visit with his Irish aunt Sheree O’Law.
Obama toasted Queen Elizabeth and the Special Relationship Tuesday. He’s cut taxes, bailed out banks, killed bin Laden and invaded an oil country.
If Republicans so much as nominate an opponent they’re just admitting they’d rather have a white guy working for them.
Obama was a hit in London with Queen Elizabeth Tuesday and they toasted the Special Relationship.
It could help his re-election.
His approval is way below where George W. Bush was at this point in his first term and Obama’s just starting to invade the wrong country.
The Australia Tourist Bureau reported a record number of Californians visiting Australia this year Monday along with a huge number of Australians who visited California.
We share a special kinship.
Australia started out as a prison colony while California has evolved into one.
Baltimore Ravens star Ray Lewis warned Tuesday that a crime wave will result if the NFL season is canceled.
The statement was probably league-approved.
The NFL pretty much has to threaten public safety in order to compete with tornado season for today’s advertising dollar.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)