Ding… Ding… Ding…

It was a muffled sound in the cold courtroom.

The sound was coming from the pocket of a 16-year-old girl. She may have felt like an adult, but in the eyes of the law, she was still a juvenile.

She couldn’t even look at the judge before her. She stood next to her parents and her attorney, waiting to hear her fate.

Her parents had tried everything to help her follow their rules, but outside influences were too strong for her to ignore. She continued to get into trouble, even after she had been adjudicated, the juvenile justice system’s equivalent of being convicted.

The judge listened as her parents explained the efforts they had made, the resources they had used and the problems they continued to face.

All the while, a faint dinging came from the girl’s pocket.

She knew other teenagers who had gone through this courtroom. Some had been placed in the juvenile detention center. Others had been removed from their homes.

She was scared.

But she could still hear that ding.

And she couldn’t help but wonder what she was missing.

That’s the thing with these phones. They constantly ding.

They ding for news, social media posts, text messages, emails … everything.

People can become hooked on that ding. Why wouldn’t they? Your phone can be like a personal slot-machine. Every ding could be a jackpot.

There’s a biological response that happens in our brains when we hear these dings. They can activate the brain’s reward system and make us want to check for more. Over time, this can create a pattern of compulsive checking.

As a prosecutor, I’ve watched the addiction of these devices affect how we set punishments for juveniles in court.

There was a time when taking away a teenager’s car could mean everything. Today, they know they can get someone else to drive them. But take away the device that connects them to their friends, entertainment and much of the world they know, and the reaction can be very different.

And that’s exactly what the judge did.

Among the other conditions of probation, the judge prohibited the girl from having a cellphone. The judge told her parents that was the rule, and if they didn’t follow it, the consequences would be more serious.

No more ding.

Over the next few months, the girl’s grades improved. She started spending time with friends instead of sitting by herself messaging them. Her self-esteem grew. Her sense of self-worth grew. Her relationship with her parents improved, and she even began to listen to them.

She seemed happier.

At the next hearing, the judge rewarded her progress by allowing her to have her phone back.

When she turned it on, you would have thought it was a bomb about to explode from the amount of dinging that followed.

Her parents quickly took the phone. Before they even left the courthouse, they told her there would be new rules about how it was used.

The phone was back.

But now there were rules.

What happened in that courtroom is part of a much larger conversation taking place in homes and schools.

Kansas has moved to restrict cellphone use during school hours. I believe the reasons must go well beyond education. Phones can bring bullying, inappropriate sexual content, scams and other dangers directly into a child’s hand.

Taking a phone away may not be plausible, and it won’t solve every problem a child faces while growing up. That’s why having rules about how that phone is used can help.

I’ve heard far too many parents tell me, “I never knew this was happening.”

Not knowing is not an excuse.

But you should have access, and you need to pay attention to what they are doing.

Set the rules.

Check the phone.

Make sure your child knows you will check it.

Because the Ding … Ding … Ding… a parent never knew, most likely has been going on for a while.

And the question isn’t whether your child heard it.

The question is whether you were listening.

Todd Thompson is the Leavenworth County Attorney.