North Korea’s World Cup adventure began auspiciously with a hard-fought 2-1 loss to a superior Brazil team, leading the government to release photographs of the North Korean coach supposedly receiving long-distance telepathic strategy signals during the game from Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.
With the country’s hopes up, the team was embarrassed in two subsequent games and dispatched from the tournament.
Back home in July, the players were paraded into the People’s Palace of Culture in Pyongyang, where for six hours, they were publicly denounced and taunted.
Coach Kim Jong-huh is said to fear an eventual violent end.  
And, who is going
to pay for that?
Speaking to the city council of Crestview, Fla., the founder of the local “Protect Our Children” citizens’ group said her son — whose age was not revealed — had “lost his mind” when he looked through the violent Japanese “manga” graphic novel he found on open stacks in the Crestview Public Library.
“Now,” she said, “he’s in a home for extensive therapy.”
It’s in the next
stimulus package   
Just before the World Cup matches, North Korea issued a public demand for compensation, blaming the United States for almost every single misfortune suffered by the country in the last 65 years.
Its official news agency assigned the U.S. responsibility for 5 million people injured, kidnapped, missing or killed — as well as for economic damages resulting from U.S.-led trade sanctions.
According to the news agency, America can atone for the losses by sending North Korea $65 trillion.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)