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He was (expletive) stupid
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Scot Davis, 52, was charged with robbing the All in the Family bar in Des Moines, Iowa.
Davis, a contractor who is friends with bartender Gladys York, had spent the evening at the bar passing out business cards before leaving.
Said York, when Davis re-appeared carrying a .22-caliber rifle and demanding money: “Scot, What the (expletive)?”
Said an officer, “This is not the hardest case our detectives have ever had to investigate.”
Hey, Mickey played
hurt lots of times   
Ron Kravitz, 22, filed a lawsuit in June of 1989 against Mickey Mantle Sports Productions Inc., for injuries he suffered the previous September while watching a company baseball video in his den to improve his base-stealing technique.
While attempting to “beat” Tom Seaver’s pickoff throw to “first base,” he crashed into a table, resulting in torn ligaments and a severed tendon, which he thought somehow was the production company’s fault.
He should be on
the Ed Sullivan 
James Burden, 55, was convicted of indecent exposure in Scotland’s Falkirk Sheriff Court in June based on a March incident when a neighbor looked out her window before dawn and saw Burden — naked, smoking a cigarette and performing a sexual act solo — while bouncing on her family’s outdoor trampoline.
Burden said he did not know anyone would be watching at that hour.
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