George Brett once said, “If a tie is like kissing your sister, then losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out!”
Well, grab Sis and Gramma because there’s going to be some of both in this upcoming Big 12 Conference football season.
Ties, what ties?
Well, first and foremost, Oklahoma State will tie for first place with their rivals, the Oklahoma Sooners.
These young Cowboys were as good as anyone last season, and despite the loss of 28 seniors, look for some surprises in Stillwater.
The Sooners are everyone’s pick, but they are going to stumble in a conference game, thus the first-place tie with Okie State.
How about another tie?
Kansas State and Baylor will tie for third place.
I know the Bears have Bryce Petty, one of the top quarterbacks in the country, but well, they are still Baylor and then Kansas State has Bill Snyder.
Though he won’t carry the ball, Snyder will bring this Wildcats team along faster than last year. They will win at Baylor though a loss will wreck championship hopes when they travel to Norman.
Texas just might be the best fifth-place team in the country.
Look for new coach Charlie Strong to put the “tough” back in Longhorns football.
Now for the losing and kissing Gramma.
TCU’s Gary Patterson will suffer another losing season, a record for him. They simply won’t score enough points.
Texas Tech and West Virginia will have winning seasons, but a losing record in conference play. Bowl games? Sure, but no biggies.
Everyone is picking Kansas to be in last place in the Big 12, but I see a small light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t think it is an oncoming train wreck.
The Jayhawks of Charlie Weis get better but will 5-7 keep the “Big Cigars” happy?  
Iowa State, on paper, looks like a bowl team.
The trouble with paper is that it is thin and that is just what the Cyclones depth is: THIN. Injuries, especially early, will leave new offensive coach Mark Mangino looking for help. Cyclones tough early, will wilt in November.
Gramma, get your teeth out!
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Forrest Gump told us, “Stupid is as stupid does”.
Was he talking about the Kansas City Chiefs?
The players that make up this roster?
First, Dwayne Bowe, the Chiefs’ top wide receiver was suspended for the season opener for an incident involving marijuana last November.
This from a guy who needs to be a leader on this ball club.
The Chiefs have a shortage of NFL-caliber wide receivers.
Now offensive lineman Donald Stephenson has been suspended for the first four games, a critical time for this ball club. Stephenson was suspended for violating the league’s performance-enhancing substance policy.
That’s a lot of words to say drugs again.
Stephenson was the expected anchor of the right side of the offensive line, a pretty crucial  job.
Thus, the Chiefs will open the season without two critical starters, both missing because of drugs.
It is one thing for a team to lose because they are less talented or because of the injury bug, but when they lose because some of their teammates are less than smart is a travesty.
Forrest Gump also had this to say, “Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.”  
Mama, I don’t understand teammates who jeopardize a whole ball club’s season for selfish reasons!

Charles Tabler is a contributing writer from Larned.