While reading on the internet, I came across an article featuring words we don’t use much anymore, but maybe we should! They are spot on! We all need a laugh, and who knows? We may actually adopt these very descriptive words in our daily conversations. These are “vintage” slang words and they are dandies. 

Slang words tend to be more descriptive than one’s daily vocabulary because people, normal folk like us all, have concocted them up to fit situations and describe things more accurately than normal everyday words.

“Vintage” means that these words are oldies and typical of the period in which they were created. They are not the common slang of today like chill (relax), bro (friend), cram (study feverishly), or cool, (nice, impressive).

Here are several of my favorites.

Word number one is:” Mutton Shunter.” Here are some options - a. a person who does not like to eat lamb; b. a type of brain surgery; c. a policeman. Did you guess? “Mutton Shunter” is a term for a policeman. “The mutton shunters are getting a bad rap lately.”

“Gigglemug” is next. This will be easy for you, I think. A “gigglemug” is - a. a person who has a pasted-on smiley face; b. a type of battery-powered coffee mug; c. a type of flying apparatus. Are you guessing? It is answer a. a “gigglemug” is a pasted-on, smiling face. “The Miss America contestants are nothing more than a bunch of gigglemugs,” said the grumpy old lady.

Number three: “Fly Rink.”  Is it, a. type of athletic performance; b. a bald head; c. a stunt performed by skaters?  Here’s a hint. Look around you when you are in a crowd. A polished bald pate is a “fly rink.” perfect for flies to skate around on.  “Look at George’s fly rink! It’s reflecting the light and hurting my eyes!”

“Juggins-Hunting” Here are the choices. a. a young man admiring the pretty girls; b. an antique pot collector; c. a guy who will foot the bill for the liquor tab.  It’s letter c. “Sherry forgot her wallet at the party so had to go juggins-hunting for help.”

A “Saucebox” is the next slang term. a. a special container for spices or marmalades; b. a mouth; c. a kind of machinery used in paving roads.  It is a mouth. “Our grandson talks incessantly. When I want a break, I give him a treat just to fill his saucebox.

“Arf’arf’an’arf.”  a. a dog begging for a bone; b. a drunk person; c. a type of mushroom. It’s b. In an English pub, you will get an arf an’ arf, (or half and half) cocktail of half black beer, half ale. Add one more “arf” of beer to the mix and you will be drunk...arf’arf’ an’ arf. 

And last, “Gas Pipes”  Which definition fits? a. a hoarse voice that is sultry when sung; b. a person who is continually flatulent in public;  c. a name given to trousers or slacks (skinny pants? ) that are tight. The answer is the letter c. “Sally was dressed in a bright red sweater with plaid gas pipes complementing the ensemble”. 

I hope you enjoyed these words and that you will be using them in the future. “Gigglemug” was one of my favorites. Which was yours? 

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at juditabler@gmail.com.