So, now that we are slowed wayyyy down, Fred and I have surreptitiously discovered that there are some things that I no longer need. You have probably found the same secrets as we. And in the process, I have discovered some.
Here’s my take.
First, we don’t need very many clothes, ladies. In fact, two outfits would do. A pair of jeans, a nicer pair of slacks, and 2 shirts. One jacket, 2 pair of shoes. There. That’s it. Underwear still important. But the rest of all those dressier tops in the closet? We might better wait, though, before putting them in boxes for charity.
Men, you need only a scuddy pair of jeans, or overalls, a pair of shorts, and a pair of raggedy shoes. We know you are “saving” the nice pair for going out in public. Now’s the time to get rid of the 20 sport coats in the closet. You haven’t worn them all for a long time. Now, you sure aren’t going to need them.
Next. Make-up. Whatever for? As for me, all I need is some lipstick or lip gloss, face cream, and for dressing up for the grocery store, I might apply some eyebrow pencil. There it is. Truth. Bare, bald-faced truth.
Nothing changing for you guys. A washcloth and a bar of soap is all you need.
Magnifying glass. Keep it. Look in it now and then. Trim the lone hairs on the chin, and the bushy brows. Keep the tweezers. Don’t get rid of them.
Scissors. Everyone needs a good pair of scissors. I have already cut Fred’s hair. I merely followed the pattern of the hairdresser. When the time comes for another haircut, I must then follow my past pattern. Then we will be in trouble. In the meantime. Scissors.
About hair growth. We women color our hair. By now, there are apparent, different colored roots. It’s nothing more than a new trend; a new style. As those roots grow out, the hair will be frosted. Boy, will it ever be.
Next detail. I have learned some valuable facts on the internet that I didn’t know until now.
I have learned 10 ways to use bleach.
A top gut doctor explained how to empty my bowels every morning. Shoot. Didn’t know that. The ad keeps appearing.
I have learned that many women are gaining weight. Cooking. Getting two chins!
I have learned why there’s cotton balls in pill bottles.
If your dog eats dry food, is eating grass, is eating his own feces, and is itching, there’s a solution.
7-11 stores were originally an ice company, called a Tote’m store, and changed its name to 7-11 when it set its hours as 7 to 11 hours daily.
And for men, I have learned that a well-kept beard increases their chance to attract the ladies. Ladies, we don’t need a beard. That’s what the tweezers are for.
Keep the faith! Keep your chins up!
Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or juditabler@awomansview.