Out of money, energy, and clean clothes, we three women of the “older” set are back from our two weeks in Great Britain. Thought you might want to know what we learned so that you won’t make the same mistakes.
While waiting at the Denver airport, Tilly hustled to the Ladies Room. While in the stall, she searched for the flush button or lever. She decided it must be the “red” button on the wall and she pushed it. The toilet did not flush, however, but the emergency alarm went off. Tilly scurried out of there before she would be discovered.
Soon we were on our way. But, looking back now, I think we just might have some very important tips for you all when and if you travel for an extended time.
Here they are.
1. I wore a fanny pack. Best invention ever. After many days of often addressing it aloud as my “fanny” pack, I discovered that this word, “fanny” is not the proper word to use in Great Britain. If I had heard it before, I had forgotten it! The Brits call it a “bum pack” because the word “fanny” is defined always as the female part of the ladies’ lower anatomy. I beg your pardon.
2. Passport photo IDs should definitely be taken immediately upon getting out of bed in the morning. Hair should be left uncombed and sticking up, faces should have no make-up, and eyes should be half open. That would be a more recognizable match for the passport recipient since this is how we looked most of the time! Granted, these photo IDs are traditionally ugly but not as ugly as the user after three days of no rest, and little regard for makeup, or hair repair.
3. Always pack slacks with expandable waists. Never take any kind of pants with zippers. Self explanatory.
4. After living out of a suitcase for a week or more, never worry about someone taking your luggage while it sits in the lobby. After looking inside and seeing the mess, or smelling the aroma (lol), they would not want it.
5. Don’t think for a moment that anyone is taking a picture of you. We three certainly joked about being beautiful celebrities who would be obviously followed by the paparazzi wherever we went. At one point, Tilly actually observed a pretty young lady pointing her camera toward Tilly, and smiling as she did so. Greta explained, “They are taking a selfie, Tilly”!
6. Don’t pack so many clothes, or cosmetics? You would have thought we were going to Bangladesh by what we brought. We were so tired of dragging our big suitcases every time we moved locations, that they felt like appendages. Oh, to be more conscious of packing light! But we three have traveled often and still don’t get it! This time I believe we did. Wear the same darn pants, shirts, and shoes for days. Who cares. (Just remember rule 3.)
7. Stay focused. After eating lunch in a neighborhood pub, we three walked back to our accommodations. I slung my black jacket over my arm. Tilly soon noticed she had left her jacket back at the pub. Oh NO! Greta and I will go with you. I turned around and walked briskly and determined ahead of Tilly. Tilly inquired inside and we waited outside. They didn’t have the jacket. Oh no. Where was it? Stepping out on the sidewalk, Tilly stared at me, and her light went on, “Wait a minute. What is that over your arm?” She took it off my arm and shouted, “You have my jacket?” We laughed so hard I almost had to go inside to the restroom. So again, stay focused.
8. And lastly. Don’t panic when you look in a mirror. I really hope to get my face back again, but if I don’t, it’s fine. But, most likely, a good rest, a diet restricted to only water and gruel, and a good make-up, will fix me again. Trips are like that. Life is meant to be enjoyed and so the last tip I have is …
9. Take your time. Watch so that you don’t trip over a cobblestone or over your own feet. No hurry. No injuries. Just use every precious moment to enjoy your wonderful opportunity for a break.
There. Hope this helped you.

A Woman’s View” is Judi Tabler’s reflection of her experiences and events. She is a wife, mother, writer, teacher, grandmother, and even a great grandmother. She can be reached at bluegrasses@gmail.com.