HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Oliver Stone’s 25-year-old film maker son, Sean, converted to Islam while he was in Iran Tuesday.
He changed his name to Ali in a Shiite conversion rite.
You know how every generation wants to do better than their parents at attacking the United States.   
Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed at home by a machete-waving thief who made off with a thousand dollars. Democrats worry.
The timing couldn’t be worse for the fate of ObamaCare if it’s true that a conservative is a liberal who’s just been robbed.
President Obama is flying to Southern California Thursday for campaign fundraisers in Beverly Hills.
The town is different. Many courthouses have a statue of Lady Justice sitting blindfolded next to the scales, only here the statue is known as Celebrity Pharmacist.
Obama’s campaign office dispatched hundreds of so-called truth teams to all 50 states, Tuesday, to knee-cap any criticism of the president.
They really don’t like it.
They’re going to go house-to-house turning off the radios whenever Rush Limbaugh is on.
Obama advised every American man to observe Valentine’s Day.
It’s a day for love. Obama took his wife to dinner, Rick Santorum gave his wife a broach and Mitt Romney sent a dozen long-stem red roses to his trustee in the Cayman Islands.
Mexican health officials reported Monday the obesity epidemic is spreading south to Mexico.
It’s not just statistics. They’ve had six reports of worshippers in church who were praying to a statue of the Virgin Mary and saw the image of a grilled cheese sandwich.
China News agency announced Thursday that a woman in Shanghai just gave birth to a 15-pound baby boy on the eve of the Chinese New Year.
Everyone in China is rightly proud of the infant. He’s not yet a month old and he’s already doing the work of two babies.
Apple stock roared past $500 a share Tuesday after passing Exxon as the most valuable company in the world.
The stock price is misleading. You’ll know that the tech company is worth more than the oil company the first time we invade a nation for their Internet cafes.
The Muslim Brotherhood in Cairo warned the U.S. not to cut any military aid to Egypt just because they’re in charge now.
They have a point.
It’s morally wrong to discriminate between one authoritarian and a brotherhood of authoritarians because God created all authoritarians equal.  
The Beach Boys marked their 50th anniversary in Los Angeles Saturday by singing at the Grammy Awards.
Surfing has lost its popularity to the Internet.
Back in the ‘60s, you could surf or you could watch porn, but you couldn’t do both at the same time.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)