HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
California’s unemployment rate jumped to 12 percent in August in statistics out Friday.
However, jobs were added in motion picture and sound recording.
The voters are so desperate for someone to listen to them that they’re actually paying for studio time.
President Obama told a North Carolina crowd Wednesday if they love him they must help him pass his jobs bill.
The president’s emotion was real.
Obama is determined to help the unemployed because it looks increasingly likely that in a year he’ll be one of them.  
Democrats in Washington whispered Friday that the party would be better off if Obama didn’t run for re-election.
They said he might be persuaded to become head of the World Bank or the International Monetary Fund.
Republicans believe he should be made Secretary General of the U.N. and let the world’s governing body figure out where he’s from.
James Carville tried to rally Democrats Friday by comparing their current situation to the defenders at Stalingrad.
It’s the city where the communists dug in and stopped the Nazi horde.
Thank goodness everyone agreed to tone down the rhetoric before it got ugly.
Virgin Atlantic announced it will allow customers to download video and audio files via Wi-Fi during flights.
The airline is doing well in its tenth year.
Virgin Airlines filed for bankruptcy its first year because nobody wanted to fly on a plane that didn’t go all the way.
Rick Perry visited the Fashion Week runway show at Trump Tower Wednesday.
The Donald took Perry into the dressing room to meet the supermodels.
Trump once did this for Bill Clinton but they had to place horse blinders on him and lead him in backwards.
North Korea launched a cruise ship for tourists to sail on in North Korean waters.
Show business has a new bottom rung.
Any comic working the cruise who tells a political joke or a joke about the ship’s food will be lined up and shot, the same rules as Carnival and Princess.
L.A. restaurants installed table-fixed iPads Friday, letting people place their orders by themselves.
Waiters will be laid off.
When Charlie Sheen saw the story he apologized to the executive producer of “Two and a Half Men” and asked for forgiveness and reincarnation.  
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)