HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Michelle Obama spoke to the National Restaurant Association in Washington last week and tried to shame restaurants into providing healthier kids menus.
Her speech came off as a bit partisan.
She blamed Laura Bush for the nation’s current obesity epidemic.
President Barack Obama’s job approval rating fell again Friday, following more news of high poverty rates and home repossessions. He remains well-liked. Polls show the public likes Obama personally but they disapprove of the way he’s handling China’s western holdings.
Obama called the National Security Council to the White House Friday where he received a security update from his highest-ranking generals in the field.
They had to give the president some really bad news. They can’t stop the surge in Delaware.
Tea Party star Christine O’Donnell was flooded with campaign donations Thursday after she won the GOP Senate primary in Delaware. She advocates teen abstinence from sex.
Joe Biden can’t believe his Senate seat is about to be taken by a woman so conservative that the Taliban just named a girls’ school after her.
The FBI arrested a scientist at Los Alamos nuclear facility in New Mexico Friday for trying to help Venezuela’s dictator Hugo Chavez build a nuclear bomb.
This is becoming the latest reality show.
Dictators are competing to see who can get the furthest along in a nuclear program before they are toppled and hanged by the Anglo-Saxons.   
Mexico’s president Felipe Calderon proposed that Mexico change its formal name from the United States of Mexico to simply Mexico.
The Mexican people prefer the formal title.
This way they can tell an Arizona trooper they are citizens of the United States and not go to hell for lying.
The L.A. Controller’s office issued a report Friday on how the city spent its federal stimulus money.
Los Angeles spent $70 million and created seven jobs.
No one knows where the money went, but Arnold Schwarzenegger has financing for his next seven pictures and shooting begins in December. Scotland Yard arrested five Islamist terrorists in London Friday.
They planned to kill Pope Benedict in his motorcade.
He has to remember that any time he doodles a picture of Jesus and tosses it into the trash, it could be mistaken for a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed.
Al-Qaeda put out an assassination order for Seattle cartoonist Molly North for conducting a “Draw the Prophet Mohammed contest” online. Some things they don’t kid about.
Mecca boasts the only comedy club in the world which has a cemetery on the premises.
Pope Benedict demanded higher standards of Roman Catholics Friday while the pontiff was preaching in London.
The pope is not afraid to clean house.
Mel Gibson went to the Notre Dame game Saturday in South Bend and the bishop refused him hot dogs and coffee.
(Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.)