Happy Tuesday, everybody, and God bless America.
The National Transportation Safety Board issued its drinking-and-driving warning to Americans traveling by car on Christmas. They said 25 percent of all holiday car accidents are alcohol-related. So beware of people who don’t drink alcohol because they cause three times as many accidents.
President Obama restored U.S. diplomatic relations with Fidel Castro’s Cuba Wednesday, igniting wide debate. There is cautious optimism. As Americans, we don’t know Fidel Castro personally, but we feel like he’s the kind of dictator we could kill in a movie comedy and not be such a crybaby about it.
The U.S. recognition of Cuba Wednesday highlighted the amazing longevity of Fidel Castro. Every U.S. president since Truman has been survived by his wife and Castro. When Bobby Kennedy was Attorney General he spent an hour each day trying to kill Castro as part of his morning exercise routine.
President Obama charmed a Jewish gathering at the White House Hanukkah party by telling the crowd he’s Jewish in his soul. He’s multicultural to the core. President Obama has black supporters in Los Angeles who never believed he was half-white until they saw a picture of him drinking a Bud Lite.
The House of Representatives and Senate adjourned Thursday, ending this session as one of the most unpopular and least productive Congresses in U.S. history. After wrapping up business, Congress went home with a 15 percent public approval rating. To put that in perspective, Cosby is at 16.
Santa Claus sat in a Cadillac convertible in the Hollywood Christmas parade on Sunday. Santa’s the most talked-about guy here in Tinseltown. He sees us when we’re sleeping, he knows when we’re awake, he knows when we’ve been bad or good, and we’re pretty sure his workshop is in North Korea.
The White House announced Friday the CIA identified North Korea as the source of the hacking of Sony Studios in anger of over The Interview, which ridicules Kim Jung Un. The movie premiere has been canceled. Kim Jung Un is now the odds-on favorite to win the Academy Award for Best Animated Short.
Hollywood stars were furious over Sony Studios’ decision to cancel the movie The Interview due to threats from Kim Jung Un’s hackers. The attack came from North Korea. In more bad news for creative comedies, Kim Jung Un ordered his hackers to allow Adam Sandler movies to run as scheduled.
Kim Jung Un’s hackers vowed to destroy Sony Studios for insulting Kim Jung Un if The Interview is released. Kim’s CIA profile says that Kim likes to snort coke, date teen-aged girls, drink expensive Cognac and enjoys NBA basketball. You’d think he would spare Hollywood out of professional courtesy.
The Census Bureau released new numbers showing that in 30 years whites will be a minority in the U.S. The breakdown looks about right. American population experts predict that in 30 years, the United States will be 15 percent black, 31 percent Hispanic, and 1 percent Republican.
ISIS began offering high-paying jobs for professional college graduates in the cities they occupy to help run the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. They’re advertising for accountants, engineers and doctors. They put everyone with a degree in liberal arts on the front lines, because if they die, they die.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com