BREAKING
Printing issues delay Wednesday Tribune
The Great Bend Tribune could not be printed Tuesday night and therefore no papers were delivered Wednesday, Publisher Judy Duryee announced. Subscribers can access the full electronic version of Wednesday’s Tribune online at www.gbtribune.com and the printed version will be delivered along with the Friday paper.
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This isnt weird; it is wrong
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Apparently, the federal government failed to foresee that fighting two wars simultaneously, with historically high wound-survival rates, might produce surges of disability claims.
Just in the last year, according to a USA Today report, claims are up over 50 percent, and those taking longer than two months to resolve have more than doubled.
Tragically, Marine Clay Hunt, who was a national spokesman for disability rights and who suffered from post-traumatic stress, killed himself, ultimately frustrated that the Department of Veterans Affairs had lost his paperwork.
“I can track my pizza from Pizza Hut on my BlackBerry,” he once said, “but the VA can’t find my claim for four months.”
Good thing
it had
a long fuse 
A contract security guard at Detroit’s McNamara Building (which houses the FBI and other vital federal offices) was found to have casually laid aside, for three weeks, a suspicious package that turned out to be a real bomb.
It was, eventually, safely detonated.
Let’s try to
keep track
next time
The Census Bureau got it right this time around for Lost Springs, Wyo.
In 2000, it had missed 80 percent of the population (counting 1 instead of 5).
The new total (4) is correct, since two people subsequently died, and one moved in.
(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa Fla. 33679 or go to www.newsoftheweird.com.)