Before Sarah Bray participated in Parent Project classes, there was quite a bit of yelling in her household.
Today, the family enjoys a more peaceful environment.
The next Parent Project begins Sept. 9 at 1800 12th in Great Bend. The classes are from 6 to 9 p.m. on eight consecutive Tuesdays at no charge; dinner is provided.
Bray, a 39-year-old Great Bend woman, has a son and daughter. When she recently participated in Parent Project, they were ages 13 and 16, respectively.
“My son struggles with anger and my daughter has mental-health issues,” Bray said. “I needed help and didn’t know what to do anymore. The biggest change has been between my husband and me – the way we handle situations.
“There is no yelling anymore; we just don’t go there. We have learned it is okay to step away and not have all the answers right away.”
Now that things are quieter around the house, the parents emphasize consistency, which Bray said is a key to success.
“We are now consistent. Our kids know what happens when they break the rules,” Bray commented. “For example, we take away five of their favorite things for three days. These could be anything from electronic devices to mascara to sweatpants - whatever they will miss.”
Once rules have proved successful, new ones are added to the family’s posterboard. “We add new rules when we all are ready,” Bray said. “The intent is to fix problems one step at a time. When a new situation arises, we let our kids be part of the solution.”
The teenagers even make rules for their parents. “The big one was no more yelling; both kids suggested it.”
Bray’s career is in the child-welfare field, which gives her an up-close opportunity to recommend Parent Project to others.
“When working with struggling families, I can honestly say ‘I know how you feel. I know it is difficult.’ They may feel embarrassed to ask for help and consider themselves failures. The real failure is NOT asking for help.
“One goal is demanding accountability from your kids without feeling guilty. Accountability prepares them for life. Parents are not perfect and striving for perfection is not the goal. The goal is making progress.”
Bray added that both of her children had been involved with the juvenile-justice system in the past. Neither has had a problem in that regard for a long time.
Casey Rowland
As family engagement advocate at Juvenile Services, Casey Rowland mentioned that she hopes parents take note that “Sarah Bray and I are professionals in this field but we still need help now and then. We are human and make mistakes.
“During classes, I talk openly about my own mistakes. We are just like everyone else – trying to do what is best for our families.”
She is thankful that Bray has become “such a huge supporter of Parent Project. Whenever she thinks a family could benefit, she strongly suggests they consider the classes.
“I also appreciate that Sarah knows the value of accountability and that our program gives you the skills to realize you are not a failure and you shouldn’t be embarrassed.”
When it comes to following through on making young people accountable, Rowland noted that if a child is breaking the law, the police and/or Juvenile Services should be notified.
“This could involve damaging property around the house, becoming physically aggressive or even leaving the house without permission,” Rowland explained. “You don’t have to be a Juvenile Services client to call us; you don’t need a referral from law enforcement. I am always available to families who need help.”
To register for the upcoming sessions, contact Rowland by calling 620-793-1930 or emailing crowland@bartoncounty.org.
“If they don’t register, they can show up at the first meeting, which is an orientation,” Rowland said. “If you live out-of-county or have transportation barriers, Zoom is an option.”
20th Judicial District Juvenile Services empowers youth in Barton, Rice, Ellsworth, Stafford and Russell counties to achieve positive outcomes by offering Juvenile Intake & Assessment, Immediate Intervention, Intensive Supervised Probation, Case Management, Journey to Change, Life Skills, All Stars and Youth Crew. Parents and guardians also are offered The Parent Project. Visit 1800 12th in Great Bend or call 620-793-1930.
