Fred has done it to me again.
I like to blame him!
A few evenings ago we went to the movies. We saw “War Room” and it was excellent. Muy emocionante! Don’t miss it.
But when we entered the lobby, Fred secured a place in line to pay, and I advised him to resist the large, super dooper, gigantus popcorn purchase at the pay counter. You see, I had already slipped a small bag of “Skinny” popcorn in my purse. He could now buy the smaller size and drink for himself.
There. He had his marching orders. Right?
In the meantime, some old friends in that same line spied me on the bench and she walked over to greet me. Contacts like this are such a boost to the spirit.
But in that short blink of an eye, I took my focus off of Fred.
He couldn’t resist and he bought the largest popcorn!
“I don’t want to eat that much. I have my own little bag!”
“You will eat some of mine. You always do. That’s why I bought the large.”
Oh drat. You know what I did then, don’t you?
I know. I know. Annie is responsible for Annie. I do not need to be influenced by Fred. He is being the devil’s advocate. He can be a traitor to my cause. So I need to make a plan before I go. If I Fail to Plan, I Plan to Fail.
Well, I tried! We didn’t eat the entire box though. Are you impressed? Four kernels left!
I now have a warning for you all.
I hope all of you diet conscious men and women are aware that we are coming into RED ALERT season! It’s almost here!
The purveyors of food ads, the recipe hounds, the inventors of the most calories per square-inch-desserts are now sharpening their teeth and wiping their chins. The fly over is beginning.
As soon as the cold hits, the mind control squads will take their positions and begin the assault. Coupons will appear in every paper and magazine in the nation giving huge discounts to chocolate chips, canned pie fillings, sour cream dips, and cake mixes. Diet drinks and flavored water will be ignored. Cookie and candy recipes will abound. Coupons will match the suggestions.
And we, like little lemming creatures, will drool and follow. Somehow, the products subconsciously will find a place in our grocery carts.
Now here is my warning. I offer you a five point plan to consider.
• Cut out little strips of black paper shaped like half moons and tape one on each side of your glasses when you go to the grocery store. The stiff construction paper is best to use. Your list should be placed right in front of you.
• Walk right to the produce area, then to the dairy, and run as fast as you can…don’t let others’ stares deter you…to the meat aisle. (Wear your best athletic shoes.) Then pay and leave.
• Since we shop unwisely when we are hungry, bring some food along. I recommend oatmeal mixed with some dried fruit. If it’s mixed watery enough, you can pour it in a large cup and sip the mixture as you go down the aisle. The more oatmeal you can stuff in your belly, the more your success at avoiding the “planted and positioned” goodies on the shelves.
• Leave your credit cards home, and bring only a small amount of money. The checkbook needs to be left behind too. Nice try. You already had an alternative figured out, didn’t you?
• Don’t bring Fred.
“A Woman’s View” is Judi Tabler’s reflection of her experiences and events. She is a wife, mother, writer, teacher, grandmother, and even a great grandmother.