By Pawnee Annie

I am on a mission! It started with Greta.
My good friend, Greta, needs more room in her closets.
 She doesn’t get rid of clothes. You know, she might “need” them some time. Now, she has no choice. Some things have to go.
Milo, Greta’s farmer-husband, keeps his paltry offering (of mainly farm clothes) in the closet in the basement.
So with the urging of Greta’s daughter, Greta and I spent one afternoon last week trying on clothes. Greta was the model.
We made three piles — give-aways, keeps, and maybes. Big nod, (YES), little nod (maybe) and no nod.
I definitely got inspired! I couldn’t wait to dig through my closet!
I decided to tackle my underwear drawer, first. (That challenge seemed easiest!)
Long ago, Althea told me that I should always keep a tidy underwear drawer just in case I am in an accident and someone would have to come to the house to get some clean underwear for me.
I never forgot that admonition. If we go on a trip, I clean out and re-sort my underwear drawer. Match socks, put underwear in separate bag, roll up slips, etc.
But then, soon it is all messed up again. When I do the wash, I normally drop the underwear in a pile, and stuff it in a drawer. There. That’s that.
Soon, I can’t find any thing. Not matching socks, not my favorite bras, nothing!
So, this morning was sorting and throwing time! There were socks with no mates, slips that were really ugly mudders, and panty hose. Tons of panty hose. Who wears panty hose any more? Besides, some had runners, some were black or charcoal, and the rest…
 I pondered. “I suppose the minute I throw them out, then I will need them!”( No wonder Greta hangs on to her clothes.) However, the decision was in motion. Several hose were headed for the onion-bag-holding Hall of Fame.
My pajama drawer got the works too. Pajama bottoms with the elastic totally gone out make wonderful dust rags. There were pajama “what-cha-ma-call-its” stuffed in the bottom of the drawer that haven’t seen my bedtime body for years! Ugly too!
You ask, “Oh where, Annie, have you gained such inspiration?”
Actually there IS a person who has inspired me. (Other than you, Greta!)
Remember Tilly Langerschmidt from a few weeks ago? My swim-partner?
Old story. I was at a wedding reception about five years ago, and my panty hose began to (spontaneously) roll down my hips. Talk about a miserable feeling. You relate, don’t you ladies?
I was all dressed up but I had to keep inconspicuously tugging at my posterior area in order to pull those creeping buggers back up. Finally I let ‘em go, and they slid down below my lower hips. Here I was trying to act natural, and be interested in what others were saying, but I was hobbled!
Those darn hose were expensive! They were “control” hose, at that!  
Tilly then blithely whispered, “Here’s my advice. You know what you do with hose that won’t stay up, don’t you?”
(Waiting for a hot tip from her) “No, what?”
“Yank them off and drop them in the nearest trash can!”
“Wow, brilliant” I remarked. And that is what I did! Relief!
“And”, she added  “Any things that you haven’t worn for a while, stuff into a big garbage bag, kick it under the bed, and leave the bag there.
After a year’s time, if you have not missed anything from the bag, DON’T LOOK IN THE BAG, and take it to the nearest recycle store.
Best advice I ever got about weeding the closet.
Now, I have a pretty neat underwear drawer…only half full. And Greta is gaining on the closet situation.
Milo! Hang on!! We’ll get you upstairs yet!

“Woman’s View” is Judi Tabler’s reflection of her experiences and events. She is a wife, mother, writer, teacher, grandmother, and even a great grandmother.