During the State of the Union Address, President Donald Trump said many hopeful things, including that he wants to work with Democrats. Yeah, right. He wants to work with Democrats the same way a five year old with a magnifying glass wants to work with ants. The way a coyote wants to negotiate with a nest of baby ducks. Think incoming ballistic missile and South Pacific atolls.
A week later, he called this very same group treasonous. And what heinous crime against the state did they commit: they neglected to stand and applaud during the boasts and exaggerations of his amazing, tremendous, fabulous speech. But nobody took the charge seriously. Why? Because his words mean nothing.
It continues to amaze how people pore over his statements, looking for clues to future behavior based on what’s been previously said. It doesn’t matter. The man never tells the truth. Only what’s expedient. Pundits point out, “previously he said this,” And “let’s not forget he said that.” Go ahead- forget that. He has. Or will.
After a year in office and a lifetime of his self-satisfied, publicity-seeking mug thrust in our faces, people remain oblivious that if the muse moves him, he will reverse course and adopt a totally different position. 180 degrees. In a New York minute. Often during the same interview.
You can’t make a plan based on what comes out of his mouth because words don’t matter to him. He has no respect for them. They’re all made up of the same 26 letters. Letters that can be used to write other words. Words that don’t assist the cause. Hence, he will say anything. To anyone. Any time. Anywhere. Anywhy. Anywho.
He’ll do it for various reasons. Whatever helps at the moment. To carve an advantage. To distract. To buy time. Energize the base. Protect a deal. Create confusion. Stay in practice. Make himself look good. Even if he said he was lying, he’d be lying.
Pity the poor people who work for him, trying to say positive things, handicapped in supporting his goals and beliefs, because they have absolutely no idea what those could be. Except that he’s pro- Donald.
He was against the war in Iraq. That wasn’t him on the Access Hollywood tape. The President of the Boy Scouts called him. Remember how he was going to release his tax returns? He never planned to release his tax returns. Saying he would, was simply a stall. Soon other scandals erupted and the press began asking other questions and tax returns fell by the wayside. And so on and so on.
So when the President says he not only plans to testify under oath in the Robert Mueller investigation but that he’s looking forward to it, don’t believe him. That’s what he thinks people want him to say. Now. It is neither a confirmation that he will testify or a warning he’ll do everything in his power to keep from doing testifying. Could be either/or. It could mean nothing. Probably the latter.
Maybe he’ll change his mind. Maybe he won’t. There is no way to tell. The man has the integrity of a drunken weasel in a chicken coop. He would rather lie than eat ice cream. And he likes ice cream.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comic and former sod farmer in New Berlin, Wisconsin.