This is that time of year when some are close to desperation while others are thoroughly organized and ready for Christmas. The women generally have the responsibility and thus, the “feel” for what to buy or what to do.

No doubt, the holiday season is stressful, and often depressing for those who compare their Christmas preparation with the “Norman Rockwell” or Hallmark movie perception. But, woe to the husband, who wants to buy the right thing for his wife, but has no idea how to get the job done. This is how it goes ...

An Ode to the Male Holiday Shopper 

I’m hunting and searching down every aisle

Hoping to find the right gift, all the while ...

Seeking to find it, hope it’s not sold

I need a luxury, not a household,

There’s so much to choose from, so much on display,

I’m looking, I don’t know, there’s such an array.

I feel the panic, I feel the fear,

I won’t find “the item.” (I was lucky last year).

Looking left, looking right, hoping that I see it,

To jump out in front of me, then I’ll decree it!

I don’t mind the cost, I have to stay steady,

I just want it done, and over, already!

I don’t know her size, and I don’t know her scent,

Oh I wish I had asked her, Oh woe, such lament,

My pockets are empty, my wallet is bare

I really must find it, I really don’t care.

The thing I hope most is to buy it, and end this,

To give up at this point would be so amiss. 

The one thing I want is to please her so much,

So she thinks I’m her hero, with magical touch.

There’s joy in this hubbub, I know its commercial

But the love and the giving are not controversial. 

I’ll find it, I know it, she’ll like what I bought her,

Because I’m so smart, getting help from my daughter!

Judi Tabler lives in Pawnee County and is a guest columnist for the Great Bend Tribune. She can be reached atjuditabler@gmail.com.